I say nothing for a moment, remembering. “Garrett, when our little girl heard we weren’t going to see their children anymore I found in her bedroom where she had pinned up their pictures. She had drawn and X through each face.”
I sunk back in my chair my head dropped to my neck and suddenly it was like when you get damn floaters in your eyes and you spend the next hour in irritation. The reality of it all was hitting me so hard I could not even lift my head.
I stammered. “We never even had a six pack of beer in the fridge.'”You had a barn didn’t you.” Before I could answer Garrett, he jumped in with another question. “The barn, the storage upstairs a lot of hiding places I bet.” I lifted my head and stared at this total stranger. “Did you take out the garbage,” Garrett said. “No, as a general rule Nick did, but so what?” Garrett was silent.
I looked away for a moment. “Oh, gawd Garrett.” I say in my all-in-a-days-idiot voice. “I hadn’t looked at it like that. Nick was no longer hiding pot; he was hiding alcohol too?” “I think it is too late for Nick.” Garrett sighed. “With alcohol and drug problems. From how you have described his behavior; he is past the point of no return.” “Why would Nick with education be so dumb as to take drugs?” I asked.
Garrett frowned. He shook his head and then looked up. “Because . They don’t think they will be hooked. Also, Jillie long-term, heavy pot smoking can leave lingering effects. At this stage when addicts talk about their drug of choice, it’s almost mystical. Only an addict can help themselves. Everyone else is their pawn.”
With Nicks Gout, High Blood pressure, and all the medical problems. Garrett made me realize that there was nothing me or my daughter could do to physically and mentally help him. He had made his choice to do heavy drugs and it was very clear that I needed to save myself and say goodbye to Nick.
“Garrett can you show me that poster again?”