Every time “Heidi” (my new nickname) for my young inexperienced attorney tries to speak or interrupt or argue a point AFM runs over her like a popped pimple.
The Judge, with his chin in both hands, is gazing intently at the AFM’S chest, legs? He looks like- oh, I don’t know- in love? “Judge, this poor man cannot possibly pay any bills,” AMF says, with a tilt of her head and a big, sad, sigh. AFM is an obvious college graduate. I see no ring on her finger. She didn’t need it-she oozed confidence. I wish I could say the same for myself. I could feel my blood boil and I hate, hate, hate, that I look at her enviously.
“We must sell the house immedately!” stomped the AFM.
WHAT ! NOW THIS IS CRAZY. Sell the house? Where will I live? I have no skills. I have no education. I start to babble in a choked voice when Heidi pinches my elbow. I look down at her she raises her eyebrows trying to convey maxium “shush” and she shakes her head gently and mouth’s the word “NO”.
This is irrational. I have to say something. I feel punctured. The AFM glares at me as if I had worn the wrong perfume. I’m just like “okaaaaay…” to the second pinch. My life has disappeared. Fear is my new life and now is a bad attorney with bad advice going to make this worse?
SLAM
The Judge HAD found a gavel and the courtroom went silent.
The Judge spoke. “You,” looking directly at me, as I stood between both attorneys. I stare back at the Judge in dumb confusion. “You realize this is a huge mistake. Financially it will ruin you.”
The three of us stood there stiff and silent for endless minutes. The Judge kind of drew himself up, took a deep breath and said, “In case you didn’t hear me. I will say it again. It seems to me after 39 years of marriage it would be a lot easier just to stay together then to face what is ahead of you. You are facing financial ruin. Why can’t you work this out? Do you want this divorce?”
NO! NO! NO! NO! I want to scream, but now Heidi has grasped my arm untill it hurts. With mental telepathy I’m trying to get the Judge to hear me. Judge, listen, REALLY? I want to save my husband. Oh, please. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. I wanted to throw my hands up and look toward the ceiling searching for someone to help me.