“Goodbye.”
I left the coffee shop just shaking. Now I felt tired, aching tired, so deeply tired it was hard to find enough oxygen to lean against the coffee shop outside wall.
Biting my lip and clenching my fists at Cecilia.
Congratulation Cecilia. Ta-da! In less than 10 minutes you have made me feel small and invisible. Was it not enough that Nick threw my life away?
Now my supposed best friend? Kicked dirt in my face. I had never seen the green on her face before. I always congratulated her or praised her but now looking back when I would be excited there never was a nice response.
Except for just a change of subject. Whenever a suggestion or something you thought was nice. She would shrug her shoulders, tilt her head and say, “Nah.”
Worst then betrayal is abandonment. You never forget the pain. You never loose sight of why? You never really trust or forgive again. It changes you in a way no other emotion can.
Losing your innocence your naivety your desire to believe. It turns it all into dust.
No more solid ground.
Tiny little specks of what once was is now stuck in your hair, your mouth, your nose. You never breathe the same; aways something caught in your throat…it is the leftover.
The leftover of love that has died.
An unseemingly and untimely death to only you as the other players watch, laugh, smirk, at your ignorance. Smug in their knowledge of deceit they hang around you like shadows.
Pop up unexpected and stay as long as they want.
And then gone again only to leave you cold, alone, and shaken.
Abandonment is the cruelest thing you can do to another human being.
I never saw Cecilia again.