One day, Pat asked me to sit down in the chair, in front of his desk. He came around from his office, rubbed my shoulders, saying, I looked so tense. He then sat down on the leather chair next to mine.
He gave me a long look. Relaxed back in his chair. And smiled as if he had a secret. ”Jillie,” he said, as he leaned forward, and put his hand on my knee. ”I am taking a short weekend trip.” And then, he asked if I would accompany him on this trip. ”A work trip.” I said. ”No. Just to get to know you better. Is anything wrong.” He asked, looking perturbed as he leaned closer, with his hand still on my knee.
I got goosebumps and not the right kind. ”No. Um I’m fine. A short weekend trip.” I repeated with a plastered smile on my face. Pat, gave me a broad smile that showed his crooked front teeth. He leaned back in his chair, examined his nails. I didn’t want to blurt out that I worked as a Banquet Server on the weekends. I meet Patrick’s eyes, and as politely and honestly, as I could say, ”Um, Thank you, no. I would’nt be able to come this weekend.”
”Why not?” he interrupted. ”I have family obligations,” I say a little too quickly. Where did I find the courage, when all I had was insecurities? As I finished speaking, his dismissive eyes, run over me from top to bottom. And he stood up. ”My, My,” he drawled. ”Well, I guessed as much! It is best you get back to work.”
With wobbly legs, I opened the office door, walked out, closing it behind me. I had been with the company for 11 days. The next day, I was let go. As soon as I walked in the front door, my Manager, David, asked me to come into his office, before I go to my desk.
”My Boss,” he explained. ”Told me that they had decided to go a different direction, and would not need, my services.” Oh, no. Oh, no Oh, no Oh no, SHIT….I stared at him in bewilderment. Being you can quit anytime as a State employer or employee. I had no leg to stand on.
David walked me out the front door of the building. I would never be in again. For the last 11 days, I had parked away from the building, to another parking lot. Too, embarrassed to have anyone, see my beat up old red truck. I walked with my head high. Until, I opened the truck door and collapsed into a burts of tears. I needed this job so badly. $20.00 an hour would have save me.
What’s happened to me? I didn’t think I could feel anymore devastated when my long marriage had collapsed.
What am I going to do?