"Overdone and Undercooked" Newspaper Columns©

All I could say was he hadn’t paid December’s rent.  No $400 for December.  The money I count on each month to pay the Mortgage.  I could feel tears growing.   The Sheriff asked if I could call him.

I walked back into the house.  Grabbed my phone.  And tried to calm down for a minute with deep breaths before I opened the front door again.

I called Dimitri in front of the two men outside.  Dimitri seemed to have a long voice message, but I didn’t hear it.  I was feeling sick to my stomach.  So, I left a message:  ”Dimitri, this is Jillie.  What time today will you be coming to pay the rent.”  ”Give me a call, please.”

The Sheriff called the Captain, who told them, they weren’t allowed to go inside the Barn, because Dimitri was a renter.  The Detective said to call back as he handed me his card on Sunday nite.  ”If you don’t hear back from Dimitri.”

Then the Detective stepped away from the dooor.  He pointed at the field.  He asked, ”If I owned the land to the end of the field and if the boats and trailers were my playthings.”

I told them both about my financial situation.  Parking vehicles and renting the Barn helped me pay the Mortgage after the abandonment from my Husband.  But, I told the Officer, the neighbors didn’t like the parking.

The Detective said, ” It’s your property.  And you do what you have to do.”  The Sheriff said, ”If Dimitri shows up, make sure you get your rent money first.  Then call this number.  Okay, Ma’am, you take care.  Thank you for your time.

They both left without saying anything about my Truck Tabs.  I walked to the Barn when they left, and looked in the window.  Everything was as it always was.

Down in the dumps, I walked the field trying to breathe, but like an Oxygen Thief, only tears came out.  I’ve learned something in these almost three and 1/2 years about process.  I have had to move in the process of not giving up.  And not turning backward.  My process is to save myself by paying attention to details.

I am still in my warm, comfortable home.  Still after everyone told me I wouldn’t and couldn’t and I was a fool not to FORECLOSE.

I am filled NO LONGER WITH FEAR…… BUT WITH PRIDE.

Someone has driven up the driveway.  And is pointing at the back of my red truck.  I have not bought new car tabs for three years.  The second man parked in front of my red truck and get’s out.  And my stomach drops to the ground.  It is another Sheriff!!!

The first thing in my mind is that Nick is dead.  Or the Jaquar, I sold has license problems, or No Tabs on the red truck.   I open the front door before they even knock.

They both come walking up to the door.  The tall man is holding a bunch of papers in his hand.  Immediately, I think now that a lawyer is suing me. That this is a Summons.  So, I think, I won’t tell them my name.

The Sheriff says, ”Is Dimitri Goff here.”  I instantly went into shock.  ”Dimitri”? ”My Barn Renter?”  ”Yes,”the Sheriff, said.  My mind is whirling.  Dimitri (I always call him George) pays his rent.  He has his three wonderful little dachshund dogs, that I love.  He wears thick glasses, and spends his day refurbishing bicylces in and out of the Barn.

He had helped me all summer with flat tires on my lawnmower.  He rambles on about politics and how much he loves his son and his parents.

I was stupefied.

Dimitri had not come to the Barn much last couple of months.  But, it was winter.  The Sheriff said,  ”Dimitri has been stealing Bicycles.  ”No, no not Dimitri.  He has been with me for almost two years.  Stealing bicycles?? No? I do not believe that is true.”

The tall man told me that he was a Detective.  He said, ”Five bikes have been stolen.”  He went through the paperwork in his hand.  Showing, me where the bikes had been.  And when they were stolen.

I was shocked.

”TED!’  Mike had an irritated expression on his face. ”Okay…..here’s what it is Jillie.  You said a year of parking and you would be on your feet.”

”But, I,  uh I have been on my property here for over years, Mike.  And yes, I need help.  Money.  I need Money.  You’re not here to help me?  ”No.  Mike ain’t here to help you.  You need to leave.”  Ted says as he rolls his eye.

Suddenly, I couldn’t bear to look at Ted.  I just wanted to shove him under a bus.  Ted was the neighbor when you are on vacation and cuts down your favorite tree….in your yard.   Or the neighbor who claimed you were one inch on their property and he was going to sue you or throw a rock at that damn Heat Pump that is too noisy.  The one neighbor I tried to avoid.  And here he is standing on my deck without being asked.  NOT GOOD.

”Leave and go where, Ted?”   ”Jillie, that’s not our problem.” Ted smirked.  ”Mike, okay, ” I say,  I force a smile.  Either way, yes, I did make a mistake, that, and yes.  I fixed it.  Hey, I know the Semi was a problem ok,  but now I have mostly just boats and really good renters, without the parking I can’t pay the bills.  The parking can’t be paying for your Mortgage, ”Mike says gently.

”No,  no,  no, no, no however, I have others bills too, like utilities.”

If they only knew I was already on food stamps.

I could hear hate in Ted’s voice as a muscle twitched in his jaw.  ”TED”  Mike had  an irritated expression on his face. ”Okay….here’s what it is Jillie.  You said a year of pakring and you would be on your feet.”  ”But, I , uh, I have been on My  Property for close to almost so long I can’t even remember.  Mike and Yes I need help.  Money. I need money.  You’re not here to help me?”

”No. Mike ain’t here to help you!!  You need to leave.”  Ted says, as he rolls his eyes.  Suddenly I couldn’t bear to look at Ted.  I just wanted to shove hime under a BUS.  Ted was the neighbor, when you are on vacation,  cuts down your favorite tree… in your yard!!  Or the neighbor ,who claimed you were one inch, on their property and he was going to sue you or throw a rock at that damn heat pump that is too noisy.  The one neighbor I tried to avoid.  And here he is standing on MY Deck without being asked.  NOT GOOD.

”Leave and go where, Ted?”  ”Jillie, that’s not our problem.”Ted smirked.  ”Mike, Okay” I say.  I force a smile.  ”Either way, yes, I did make a mistake, that, and yes.  I fixed it.  Hey, I know the semi was a problem, ok but now I have mostly just boats and really good renters, without the parking, I can’t pay the bills.”

”The parking can’t be paying for your Mortage,” Mike says gently.  ”No, no, no,  no, However, I have other bills too.  Like Utilities.”  If they only knew I was aready on Food Stamps.

I knew right then and there.  It was the Boat Parking in my field.  I had let one of the Renters put a Tent over the Boat.  It really was huge.  Too afraid to say anything to the Boat Owner.  In fear ,that he would not pay upfront, the three-month rent.

”Ted, calm down.  And let’s have a conversation with her,” said Mike.  What is going on.”  I say puzzled. ”Jillie.”  Mike clears his throat.  His 6-feet frame lowered with his slumped shoulders and tilted head.  ”Um. Yes. Um. The wives aren’t here because…”   Before he could answer, Ted jumps in with a shout!  ”We  want you out of our neighborhood.”  Compared to my 5ft 7in frame Ted was short.  But he was like a piece of gristle.  With the added pinched look of a man who drinks a couple of six packs every day and smokes unfiltered cigarettes.

The only thing that looks alive on him is his hair.  From the top of his forehead to the back of his ears his mop had to be four inches in height.  It was so thick and curly you yould barely see the cigarette that sat strangled inside curl on the side of his ear.

”Mike…?  Mike!”  What is Ted talking about?  ”I will tell you what I’m talking about.  ”Ted moves closer to me as I step back.  ”We have had enough of YOU and how YOU have junked out OUR neighborhood.”  ”Neighborhood?? There are just the four familes on a total of ten acres, I said.”

”Jillie, three years ago you came to our home,”  Mike said, with a warm smile.  ”Mike, I would ask you to sit, but I have sold all the Deck Furniture.  ”I laugh nervously.” ”Hey! She just…..”  ”STOP Ted.  Let me finish my sentence.”  Mike turned his back on Ted and looks at me as if I were the Village Idiot. ”Jillie, slowly he continues, ”You said, you needed money, or you were going to put parking in your field.”

”Parking!”  Jesus Christ.  She has had boats, cars and don’t forget the God Damn semi-truck.”

As  I step out of the shower, I hear the knock on the front door.  Please, Please, don’t be any more Police.  I silently pray.  Dripping wet.  I grab a towel around me and tiptoe to the beige blinds on the bedroom window.  I peek out the slits in the blinds, closed against the morning sunlight, and look down onto the wood deck.

OH MY GOD.  it is my neighbor, Mike!  Oh my gosh.  He is here to help me!  I fling off the towel.  Dig through the pile of dirty clothes on the floor.  Cursing the broked washing machine.  Literally jump into my sweats and old t-shirt.  No makeup. Wet head.  I don’t care I’m too excited.  I run down the stairs so fast it feels like flying.  In to the family room and out onto the deck.

I stop short.  My neighbor is not alone.  ”Hello Jillie.”  ”Oh.  Uh….Hi Ted.” I walk to Mike.  My favorite neighbor.  Not Ted.  One of—if not the most—pig-headed cocky human beings on the Planet.  With a friendly pat on Mike’s shoulder I ask, ”Where’s your wife?”  ”We need to talk,” says Ted.  I look at Mike.  He is looking down at the ground.  I assume because the deck has several holes from rotting wood.  But I know better.  He’s embarrassed.  Once again Ted (neighborhood bully) has butted  into something that is none of his business.

”Mike, I appreciate you coming over.  I’m so glad for the help.”

“Help?”  We are not here to help you, Jillie.”  ”What did you say, Ted?”  ”You heard me.”

 

Always a strange mix of people at these jobs.  Many divorced ladies, kids taking a break from college, people working second jobs.  The weird mix of people stuck in a mess.  A few that stay years, and others that only make it a couple of days.

The desperate, like me.  I would go in the bathroom and do wall push ups.

The phone calls were full of answering machines, hang-ups, wrong number, gigling smartass children, pushing all the buttons.   The people on the phone, the elderly, the angry, the confused and the long waits between calls and no voicemails. There were some funny voice mails.  Here ’tis a few of my favorites.  ”I, am  as old, as when God created light.”  ”No one said I love you today…well…we do.”  ”How long your boots been under someone else’s bed.”  ”I will live well and die when I can’t help it.”

What is so ironic is on the day I quit Furniture Buy, I had an EPHANY!  I am in control.  Not the Bills.  Not the Mortgage.  Not the lack of Finances.  I am in control.  I have lived here on my own.  In four months it will be for Three Years by myself.  Fear takes away.  I decide how to react over employees, Sheriffs, and losing the window seat.   I am no longer in fear.  And no longer need Social Services. I will not go there anymore.  I can find me back again.  I cancelled Food Stamps. I am done.  I will not go there anymore.   It is very odd because I have part-time work, little unemployment money, and no idea how I’m going to pay my Mortgage. But I feel safe and okay.  I cut off food stamps and Hope Link.  I am not afraid to be with out, as I can always get a telemarketing job.  I know all my past fears.  I have gone through and no how to handle them.

Is that why?  Because, I have walked across the hot coals.  I know what it taste, smell,  and feels like.  Been here – done that.  I can face something, I am familiar with, the last 3 years, were full of scary monsters.  Unknown, unsure and all very unsafe.

Hit me again I DARE YOU!!!

 

However, after training, I could sit in my cubicle and make my phone calls. Until one day….  I did the HORROR of looking out the window…  Yes!  You heard that right.  That was a NUMBER ONE  NO. NO.

In spite of the fact that boredom had grabbed me by the neck.  And the big ole bowl of Candy Corn at the front desk.  I thought I had enough time to grab a handful and get back to my cubicle in time.  I plopped down on my chair.  And it swiveled my head in the window direction.   And just like that!!  Wozer Carol (who was not Management, but unfortunately did training) SCREAMED louder than a Space Shuttle Launch.

I turned in horror to have her make me stand up!  She marched me to the front of the room.  And in front of everyone.  She told the Boss, Gary, not once but twice the horrible offense I did.  Of Looking out the window.  Boss, Gary immeadiately told me to clear my desk.  And the entire row was to switch seats.  All because of me.  And only Carol…would be sitting in that seat. That had a window.  From now on!

Oh Boy, I was almost getting to the 3rd month with the promise of increased pay in the 4th month.  And I just this minute!  Got yelled at by my 28 year old boss, Gary!  Why?? Oh, boy, hold your breath.  But this afternoon I was caught not dialing at precisely 1 pm.  And the punishment!  At Furniture Buy was 96 cents taken out of my paycheck for being late.

I can think of one million other things that I could be doing.  And all this time wasted is the worst time I will never to get back again.

Furniture Direct Buy – Remember–When someone else is asking the Questions.  They are in control.  Use Mr./Mrs. if you have not verified first name, and first name if you have.

”How much does it cost?” (First question on cost.  Presume it relates to the information.)  There’s no cost for the information (first)  The only thing we do ask is that if we take the time to send you the information, you read it over and consider visiting the club.  Fair enough? …  Go back to script.

”What is the membership fee?” (Second question on cost. Related directly to membership.) There are several different plans available (first) and that all depends on the type and length of membership.  All that will be covered in the Open House, now as I was saying… Go back to script.

“Is there any obligation?” (First) the only obligation is that if we send you the information, you read throught it.  Then if it’s interesting, we’ll invite you to come see for yourself how much less things actually cost.  Fair enought?…  Go back to script.

”You folks have called before.”  Oh, good!  Well, let me ask you, have you (folks) ever taken the opportunity to actually visit our DirectBuy club?  Yes: Go to answere#8 No. Okay well….Go back to script.

”How did you get my name.?” (First)  I’ve been given a list of people here in the city area to give them the opportunity to hear about DirectBuy and I was calling…Go back to script.

”I don’t want to set an appoinment now.” (Incentive or Non-Incentive PR)  We don’t either (first).  We just want you to read the information, and then if it’s interesting, we’ll confirm and Open House time…. Go back to script.

”We’re already members!”  Okay, we’ll look forward to seeing you at the club soon.  Have a nice morning/afternoon/evening.)

”We already been in.”  So you (folks) have already attended and Open House that lasts about an hour or so at a Direct Buy club?  Yes:  Okay, how long ago was that?  (If within last year)  Then as you know, you’re not eligible for membership at this time.  But you have a nice (morning/afternoon/evening)  Good Buy.”

”No: Well you sould definitely come in to see how DirectBuy works.  Now, as I was saying….Go back to script.

 

I was on what number of jobs now?  Biz-x, Top Search, STVA, Banquet serving, Cascade, Walk-in-Bathtub, Claims R US, 3- day job-Prominence, Defi and now Furniture Direct Buy.

Eleven Jobs.  But who’s  counting?

Direct Buy, is a Membership buying service.  Headquartered in Merrillville, Indiana.  It claims that this is the largest Franchiser of Members-Only consumer buying centers in North America.  Members pay a significant fee.  Which then entitles them to buy Merchandise ”Directly from the Manufacturer.” And its autorized suppliers.”

My newest job at Furniture Direct Buy.  Is as a position as a Telemarketer.  This one worked, from 1pm to 9pm with a Dinner break.

That was good, as it gave me, Banquet serving hours in the morning.

We each had our own Cubicle in a Call Room.  For the first three months of training you get minimum wage.  With the promise of increased pay in the 4th month.

We were to call people that had received our Post Card.  And a chance to Win the Golden Key!

If they came inside Furniture Buy, and tried on the Key, that is attached to their letter, they could win a Prize, if the Key fits the Lock!!!

There was one-worker. Carol.  I tried really hard not to stare. However, it didn’t seem to bother her that her tattooed eyebrows, looked like a black tire track.  That missed the corner of her eye and landed in a heap on the other side of her forehead??

I felt sorry for her.  I tried to keep my eyes. Just on her eyes.  But, she didn’t even notice. Because, she was too busy, shouting commands.  Not just me.  Everyone.  And she had obiviously never heard of Inside Voice.

Carol trained me. And then, at breaks, would start the commands:

Did I do this?  Or that?

And literally, my ears.

Would be ringing.