”My Mom had a saying, ”Someone just walked over my Grave.” I cannot recall the exact time I heard her say that. I can recall that she said it very many times. The first time I got a chill. It started at the base of my neck. It went down my spine and into my fingers. Thereafter, I shrugged it off. I did not know what it meant, and I didn’t want to know.
When I married and had a child she made innuendos. Something about feeling things. Always impossible to have a complete conversation without her becoming angry. I would puzzle over this, I knew she was trying to share something with me. Something to do with……..? She had stories about feeling things. Like knowing the phone would ring. Or the car in front of her was going to change lanes. Or there had been an accident and Dad would walk through the door with his arm in a sling. Or she would tell us the end of the movie before it finished.
When my father would be late for dinner and I asked why. She would say, ”Because he is with his other family.” I would laugh because surely, she meant the office. She married my father when he was 25 and she was 40 pregnant with me. Late in life he betrayed her with a young woman who he fathered three sons with.
Mom never said a word to anyone. She kept it all inside herself until the day she died. Then the truth came out–anyway. Sheesh! That is the way it was with us. And the worst thing of all? It is only now that I think I finally understand what she had been trying to tell me since my youth. She never came out and said the words. When I told her I had a feeling. She would just ‘poo poo’ it and tell me, ”Jill it is just your imagination, Dearie.”