CHAPTER 61

Trish reached over and took my hand and gave it a quick squeeze. ”Well, enough already!  Failure and Fear go hand in hand.”  She shook her head and reached into her handbag.  She pulled out her phone.  ”I know someone who can help you.”  I could hear the phone ringing and then Trish said. ”Penny, this is Trish.  Oh, yes, dinner tonight.  Right, great I’m looking forward to it.  I thought that perhaps we.”   She stopped talking and listened intently and then she said, ”By the way, I wanted to talk to you about my neighbor.” ”Yes, that one whose husband abandoned her.  She needs work. Great. Thanks, hon.  See you tonight.”

Not sure of my next step.  I was relieved and once again found that people will help you if you just ask.  A week later, I sat inside an Insurance office, working part-time for Trish’s best friend, Penny.  I parked my beat-up red truck far away on my first day, and walked into the building.  I found her Insurance Office door and knocked. Penny, tall, well dressed with wispy gray hair.  Told me that she was 70 years old and had found a great new tool to use in Insurance.  We went into a room with a large round wood table.  And in the front a large white Dry Erase Board hung on the wall.  Penny handed me a college-ruled composition book to take notes.  And I grabbed a pen out of an extra-large pencil holder made out of the same wood as the table.

She explained that it was called ”Bank on Yourself.”  And writing rapidly on the whiteboard,  I was trying to write down everything she wrote, to put in my new crisp composition book.  ”Jillie,  Bank on Yourself is a company and strategy that lets you bypass Banks and Wall Street and take back control of your money and finances with whole Life Insurance Policies.

I like Penny.  She is vibrant, enthusiastic, and happy to have me.  My hours were from 3 to 8pm making phone calls to her client list about this new program.  Today, I have $125.00 from Penny and $85 from a Boat Renter in the field.   I have still not Foreclosed.  I was still begging creditor’s.  However, I did miss a payment on Novadebt.  I have been late twice but not missed.  ”I told the Operator.  She said, ”She had heard a lot.  But my story was the far worse story than any she heard.”  She said, ”A woman spent 16 years in Prison.  A crime she didn’t commit.  But Jilly, your crime was you were too nice, and your Husband abused that.  And girl, I know you have been struggling to pay your bills.

But do not give up!  Not now you are trying and doing a Damn good job.  So don’t give up now, Missy!”   ”Thank you,” I said.  ”Your kindness made my day!”  I told her I would not give up!  And that I would continue my practice of calling the Mortgage every other day.  To remind them not to Foreclose on me!

I know now, that I can always get a Telemarking job.  I know now, all my past fears I have are gone.  I don’t miss Mitch anymore.  And I am not crying as much.  However, I do miss security, stability, goals, and plans.  Penny would not be able to give me full-time work, so I continued to send resumes.

And three months later.  I got a call.

 

 

CHAPTER 60

Unemployment wants work since 2010.

I actually had forgotten, my one month at AVST.  My 3 days at Financial Credit.  And now my four months at BIZX.

All had one thing in common.  Job’s that didn’t require any skill.  Other than calling on the phone.

I want to come back, out to the Sun.  But, I have once again, been kicked out.

So, so, tired.  Now, I have no choice, but to move forward.  However, all I want is comfort food, TV, and sleep.

On my last day with Biz X. That evening I went to the Post Office.  And unbelievably!!  Came back, and I had locked, my only house key!  Locked the Truck key! And double unbelievable!! I had left the Truck running.

A lady walked out of the Post Office.  And she suggested I walk across the street to the Fire Department.  In tears again…but not flowing.  I told the Fireman, who came with me, back to the truck.  He used a Slim Jim down the window.  Which popped the button in the door jam.

He hugged me GoodBye.  I almost didn’t let go.  I wanted soooo badly for somebody to save me.

After 7 months to find a full-time job.  Only to find me back to the dark, cold and clammy bottom.  So, so, so tired.  I know I have no choice but to move forward.  However, all I want is comfort food, TV, and sleep.

But my sweet, tiny, old lady, Neighbor sighs.  We sit across from each other on the window seat in my living room.  There is nowere else to sit.

I no longer have a kitchen table, or chairs, or living room furniture.  All sold.  For a considerable discount.  Great deals for the buyer.  Heartache for the seller.

Trish looks genuinely concerned at the empty rooms, and the tears falling down my face once again.  ”This is how I see myself,”  I had told Trish.

”Like a left-over Christmas Ornament  (found under the couch)  not worth the bother of putting it back into the Christmas box.  So, it ends up stored inside the pantry all year. ”

Out of the way.

Until next Christmas.

 

CHAPTER 59

Where did my life go??

Two years and 7 months.  And 3 summers.  And I’am still suffering, financially, and mentally.  Still crying and tearing up.  I want to be happy.

I know, I have no right to complain, but the stress wears so thin.  One more worry on top of soooo many.  One good job.

I don’t miss Mitch anymore.  I like living by myself as it is home.  I miss security, stability, goals, plans, etc.  Now. I’am still in Limbo and Fear.

Still begging Creditors. When will the humiliation end.

I eat but don’t taste.  Sometimes, I swear I can’t breath.  I can’t get any air to swallow.

I can’t seem to reach what I want.  I want to buy clothes.  I have worn the same black pants for every job.  I do early, Banquet morning serving, every day I have worked.

I had unemployment from my last job.  And payments from Parking cars in the field, and my Barn Renter.  Right now, I have $70.00 to my name and bought 4 gallons of gas for my truck at $3.95 a gallon.

I knew Cascadia would not take me back, and I did not want to go back.

It is quite joyous knowing I have a Brain.  I always gave it away to Nick.  I never credited myself.  But, that had a lot do do, with the way I was raised in that era of Society.

Women came last.  Marriage came first.  Men were King.

I need to pay attention now to all the good in my life, and have an Attitute of Gratitude.

SOB has had a deed of trust on the house since Trial.

 

CHAPTER 58 Continued

Today was a co-workers Birthday.  So we went out to lunch.  Me and Linda and a few others from work.  We took pictures, laughed, joked around, enjoyed the meal.  And the waitress brought everyone a piece of Birthday Cake!

We all came back into the office.  And I was standing by the cubicle of the Birthday girl.  When I got a tap on my shoulder.  I turned around smiling and it was Bernard.  He said, “That I was to go to the Conference room.”

“NOW.”

”Ok. I said, cheerilee.”  As I started walking.  I noticed that everyone in my cubicle section (Tommy’s Team) was not at their desk.  And then I saw the HR Manager walk into the Conference room.

I knew right then, and there, we were all getting laid off or fired.  An echoing emptiness surrounded me.  Bernard stood at the front of the table and said, ”He wanted his own Employees and we were all let go.”

CHAPTER 58 Continued

Everyone was so concerned that I was shocked to see a New Employee already there.  His name was Bernard.  He was going to take over Tommy’s place until he was better.

I knew that Tommy would need time to recover.  And of course it made sense to bring in someone.  However the feeling I got was that Tommy was not coming back.  He was in the hospital and would be okay, but it could be months.

Berbard didn’t look like a Marketing Manager.  On the contrary he was the opposite of Tommy.  With his bald spot always bright red, wrinkle white shirts and his slip-on shoes that had seen better days.

He was constantly munching on a large jar of candy and pepperoni sticks.  On his (Tommy’s desk) and would come over to my cubicle and wonder why I never stopped by to enjoy his treats.

We had ship bell that you would ring if you got a sale.  So, I rang it almost every day.  Tommy was still in the Hospital and it had been three weeks and no one knew when he would be coming back.

CHAPTER 58 Continued

Today was the annual Golf Tournament that my company participated in every year.  I was excited to attend and to be outside—No phone calling!  Me, Tommy, and another employee arrived at the Golf Course.  We were directed into the Lodge, where we had a HUGE breakfast together.

Tommy is excited looking forward to playing Golf with our Members.  And he explained the agenda for the day.  First, we were to Meet and Greet.  And set up our table on the Golf Course.  Then our job was to thank Golfers for coming and handing out brochures and candy.  We will be sitting most of the day until the Evening Event.

After breakfast, Tommy took  us up to our golf cart.  And he helped us set up.  We had fun meeting and greeting and driving our golf cart.  And before you knew it was time to close up and head back to the Clubhouse for the early evening event.

As we got closer to the Lodge, one of Tommy’s fellow golfers came running to us.  ”Tommy has had an accident.  And he is unconscious!!

My colleague and I arrived in the parking lot where we found out that Tommy had been in a Golf Cart with other golfers and fell out onto Concrete and hit his head, bleeding profusely.

The Ambulance came.  And we were told to go home.  And come back to the office tomorrow.  I was in Shock. Worried and Scared for Tommy.

At work the next day, I felt angry, sad, frustrated, and confused that Tommy, of all people had to be hurt.

CHAPTER 58 Continued

Every break at work, I had to leave the office and go behind the Building.  Begging my new Attorney to help me.  The Boss pulled up and saw me walking back to the Office one time.  He asked if I was okay?  I just said, ”I took my break and got some fresh air.”

This new Lawyer helped me and sent a letter directing my Mortgage and it’s Subsidiary/Affiliated Entities and all of its Officer, Agents, and Employees to directly communicate with his Law Office only; relative to my real property.

The Authorization inculudes but is not limited to all forms of Communiction and includes, but is not limited to Communication concerning Loan Balances, Modifications, Extensions, Renewals, Proceedings in Bankruptcy.

I was almost at the end of my 4th month at my new job.  This outstanding Attorney, even though ill, had solved the issue!!!!

Even though, I was now once again three months behind on the Mortgage.  With relief of no Foreclosure in 90 days,  as long as, the money started coming into the Mortgage.

CHAPTER 58 Continued

I was beyond rich right now.  I have been at my new Job for three months.  The Probation Period is over!  And now I’m waiting to get a compensation package.

My job was to call Las Vegas, Hawaii and all the States with fancy resort hotels.  Get past the gatekeepers and pitch our product on the phone.  Then set up an appointment with one of the four owners for them to close.  I was good on the phone and pleasant and kind sounding and every day I got a new one and passed it on.

Then I received a phone call while I was at work.  It was my Mortgage Company.

I went outside and excitedly told them I had found a full-time work.  And I could catch up on the three-month payments I was behind.  The lady on the phone said, ”Jillie you know something.”  And then she got quiet.  ”So, what it says here…..You have gone Bankruptcy.”

”What?” ME.  NO.  NO.  I have never filed for Bankruptcy.”   ”Well, there are two names on your Mortgage.  Yours and Nick.  Unfortunately, we cannot accept any payments while you are in Bankruptcy.”

”NO.  NO.  NO.  NO. I am not in Bankruptcy!   I have a Quit Claim Deed to the house.  I own the house!  I have never filed for Bankruptcy.  Nick has filed for Bankruptcy.

I hung up.  I had only been with my new job for one month.  I could not lose this job.  So I called Social Services – once again  –  begging for help.  They found me a Bankrupt Attorney who had been ill and has returned to work part time.

 

CHAPTER 58 Continued

We went to Trade shows and Chamber of Commerce events. I couldn’t believe my good luck having a good job and, to top it off, every Friday, Free Food!!  I couldn’t wait to get to work. And I was one of the last to leave.

Once a week, we had a daily refresher meeting at a large Board Room Conference table with all employees.  Sometimes I would go in there when it was empty. Just to pinch myself for having such Good Luck.

Then on Friday, sometimes, they asked me to pick up the food from Pizza’s too Cracked Crab.  On weekends I would sleep.  So exhausted.  But I didn’t need a glass of milk or fried chicken to soothe me.

The Divorce Attorney had put a lien on my House.  She could  have taken the house at any time.  However,  I wasn’t going to let that ever happen!! So I sent her emails explaining where I was in the Job situation every two weeks.

And I had a new friend, Linda.  She had worked for years there at BizX.  We took walks and lunches.  She was so helpful to me.  Of course, I never spoke to anyone about my situation.  I just stayed happy and positive.

I couldn’t have allowed myself to feel so great in the past.  And I’m thinking nothing could go wrong.

Right?

CHAPTER 58 Continued

”It’s great, Jillie, that you have had experience calling Nationwide.  You were exactly what I was looking for,” he said, as he lifted his water glass for a toast!  Short with a buzz cut and a grin that he couldn’t wipe off.  He himself had only been with the company a year.  But, he was funny and friendly.

He feels like a friend and is genuinely a great guy.  I could not have had a better Boss.  My first 40-hour week we spent visiting local businesses about joining our firm and describing our product, and even made a couple of sales.  And of course , we enjoyed big lunches on the company.

I would get a paycheck of $1,065 every two weeks.  Twice a month!!  And then I also would get a commission if I made a Sale.  This was enough money to start paying $100.00 a month to the Attorney Bill.  Enough money to buy gas and food and get off of Social Services!

One month later….I made it!  I have made it and am still there after one month.  In fact, yesterday, Tommy said, ”They were working on my compensation plan.  And today the Vice President of the company wants me to call Luxury Resorts and set up a meeting for him to start me on small Hotels.

I could do that standing on my head!

I had a social life!